The Miraculous Life of a not so Black Sheep
by Chairman of the bored
Summary: The life and madness of Andromeda Black, a Hogwarts 5th year.


A Prolog for world domination-  
  
There are three things you need for domination: An addiction, endless amounts of caffeine and a brilliant mind. I have all three but unfortunately, being fifth teen, I still attend school. Fortunately, for me that is, this school just happens to be Hogwarts, a school for witchcraft and wizardry. A thing that provides a rather large advantage to does who wish to dominate the world. Two other bonuses are a good memory (in order to remember the spell that will blast any unwanted countries right off the map), and an attractive body (man are complete Neanderthals, you can actually see their mind stop when a gorgeous woman walk into the room). Both of them, I also happen to have. Fortunately for you, I have no plans for world domination, yet. Although the environment I grew up in will not deny the possibility of world domination (for the sake of the dark forces, of course), on the contrary, it will consider it as great honor to the family. Anyway, being a 5th year at Hogwarts, I have no time to dominate the world.  
  
I have to study for my O.W.Ls, as teachers constantly remind us while giving us impossible mountains of homework. It's just their excuse to give us more homework. They enjoy it. It's their sick sadistic fun. The O.W.Ls are just a cover! It's a school conspiracy! Bygones. And aside from that, I have to support my two mentally unstable best friends (I myself gave up sanity a long time ago), and once in a while restrain the only I like from my family, my cousin. Sirius Black. Sirius and his dear friends tend to get into a lot of trouble. A tendency that instantly makes him and his best friend, James Potter two of the most eligible bachelors in Hogwarts. James' problem, or, to be more precise, one of my two best friends, Lily Evans' problem. Is that James is obsessed, he's been chasing her ever since first year though she loathes him more than anything else. Oh the tragedy. Lily, together with Sirius and his three best friends are in Gryffindor, the house of the brave and noble, how pretentious. I on the other hand, with the second half of my best friends panel, Leonor Sinistra, attend to Ravenclaw, the house of the smart and witty, and because these are our qualities other houses automatically presume that we study all the time. Really, really wrong! And rather annoying. And of course there are my two darling sisters, Bellatrix and Narcissa. Bellatrix, currently in 7th year in Hogwarts, next year I'll finally won't have to go to school with her. Maybe she'll leave home! With that ugly git Lestrange, I swear, if his brother will try hit on me one more time.... Narcissa, my moms' favorite daughter, was beautiful, of course. My mother always said that Narcissa reminded her of herself. Narcissa is a 3rd year, and despite that Lucius Malfoy, a 7th year, has already put his eye on her. Narcissa could have been alright if she hadn't grow up in the environment we grew up in. But unfortunately, she acts like a living Barbie. She does everything Bellatrix tells her and when she's not, she sits around in front of the mirror or flirt with guys. But I'm not naïve. I know she's just playing around. She knows how to get what she wants. She's not dumb, she's very cunning. It was a bit of a family shock when I was sorted into Ravenclaw, but it lost its edge seeing as Sirius (who is my age) was sorted into Gryffindor, it was the sole reason I was rescued from the wrath of my parents. All of my family was sorted into Slytherin for ages, like any self respecting pure-blooded family. I and Sirius broke that lovely tradition. What an awful deed! How immensely depressing! I must die this very instant! Not. But I'm sure that's what Sirius' mom said. Poor guy. His mother is worse than mine. Old bitter hag. Her age doesn't affect her voice. It's rather annoying. The woman screams like a Banshee. In all this worthless stream of information I forgot to tell you my name. Andromeda Black. And yes, like the constellation. Don't ask questions. Anyway, that's my background. You survive. Or not. Doesn't really matter. Just another fragment in the universe based on caffeine, which was donated by hard working house elves. Working day and night. I wonder what would have happened if they were purple.... It would be amusing if someone would open a "Save the House Elves" society...  
  
I would want to see that... A "Save the Purple House Elves" society! Exactly! I wonder if there are any purple house elves to save... Sorry, Transfiguration, it affects me in strange ways. I'm starting to think Mcgonagle has put something in the air... she looks innocent... no one will suspect her... Mcgonagle on drugs... that should be highly amusing... I wonder if she knows what The Beatles is... it is truly unbelievable that a wizard band would be so successful that they would actually become famous in the muggle world too... Ho! A great upcoming surge of pride is over flowing me! Or not.... Ok, I really need to go outside and breathe air that is free from the secret stuff Mcgonagle put in the air in her class... I wonder when the bell rings... it's not like what we're learning is difficult... on the contrary... it seems like some of the Slytherins aren't doing so well... how amusing... I am an evil person... with a tendency to sadism... but its still amusing... Judge me! I don't care! I am a proud Purple House Elf! Wait... no... I'm a witch... see! There's something in the air inside Mcgonagles' class! I think we should alert the media! Hey... why is everybody getting up.... Oh... the bell rang... The bell rang!!! Wahoo! Freedom at last! Over reacting, sorry. 


End file.
